anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
