im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Randomize
