Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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