Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
