There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
