bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
pop tarts are not kleenex
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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