I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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