But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
