Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
