I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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