ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
