It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
