You really coming over, don't trick.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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