Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Welp...herpes.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
