Nicole vs. Life
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So vagazzling was a success
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
