The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
