plz talk dirty to me
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
