absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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