Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
