Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My nipple is on Facebook.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize