I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
