Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize