She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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