i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
