I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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