too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
