im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
it hurts more in the daytime
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
