he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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