Ambien. No doubt about it.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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