I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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