He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
