I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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