Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
