I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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