booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's just like the Real World with babies
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
