fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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