I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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