Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
