eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
