I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
