I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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