The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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