see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
