This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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