Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
