We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my shit smells like andre
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
