I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
