fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
