He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
