i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Randomize
