My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
