Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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