i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize