I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
