I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
