Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize