matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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