How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So vagazzling was a success
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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