I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
