I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
