I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my shit smells like andre
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
