real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
