oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
