Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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