time to smoke my breakfast
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
