Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
