So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
