so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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