absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
