if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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