i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
