Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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